hope4recovery

to scared to get to know the real me

hope | July 24, 2008 03:42

food is not the problem i am, food is just a way of me coping with how i am feeling, to scared to allow myself to get to know me, i use food to control the way i feel. counting calories, taking laxatives is my way of feeling in control of my life. who am i kidding i have no control im lost in an obsession, food controls me. every morning when i wake instead of embracing the day i beginning planning my food intake for that day, coming up with new ways on how to control what i eat, spending hours looking up new diets, trying to find new ways of taking control. all i know is that it is one powerful disease, addiction and maybe now i have openly admitted i have no control i can surrender and begin to recover.