hope4recovery

i know that my problems are within, i have inablity to funtion and use my eating disorder to cope.  somehow i have slipped further down not even aware of it untill now.  im taking slimmin pills and justifying it to myself because they are herbal tablets, still abusing laxatives and i wake up every morning still obsessed with food and the way i look, not looking good.

its now effecting my relationship, im so closed off from my partner.  im not able to be open with him and tell him what is going on for me.  the physical side of our relationship is really hard, sometimes i can't stand him to touch me,  i know that when we are initmate with each other i seem to take myself away and disconnect. he suggested that i go into therapy which i automatically took offence to, im confused about what to do for the best.  just hoping that writing it down may help me see clearer in what path to take

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• sat in a horrible place
• reflecting brings me hope
• living in the moment
• wish my head would shut up
• confused, am i in denial
• confused and scared is therapy the answer?
• to scared to get to know the real me
• does anyone recover?? is OA an option??
• im still fighting despite myself
• Help, im so obsessed

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